it's okay

On Thursday I

- slept for 10 hours
- vacuum cleaned and changed sheets
- got rid of my flour by making surprisingly delicious bread
- got rid of my bed frame by carrying it to a construction site dumpster on a yard close to my home
- moved my furniture around
- reupholstered my armchairs small cushion with a cotton bag
- tried to write on my thesis

And as you may have guessed, all I was supposed to do was to write on my thesis, but my monkeybrain just got to me...

Much as happened in my life recently and together with it, a very volatile mind has been present, making it difficult to really focus on anything. I've become like me when I was five year old - all I want to do is to get things done immediately. Unfortunately not the important things, but the fun and easy things. So my studying has been suffering most days. Simultaneously I've just felt very confused by my thoughts.

And I'm pretty sure everyone have these moments in their lives when things just feel a bit random, and that randomness makes you unable to focus on the things you'd really like to at work, school or some other part of life. But I really believe that these moments are important as well, even though they are really annoying.

And yes, it's healthy to try to manage these moments or feelings somehow, but I know it doesn't help to feel bad about it or oneself because of it. Even though ambiguity often feels inefficient and frustrating, there is a sort of beauty in it. As long as you take care of yourself, eat colourful food and move your body, so even though you'll be lost, you can trust your body to keep you here.